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By Captain Cremation. - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)I have never been an exponent of wedding vegetable topiary and normally my old fella peeps out from something that looks like a reject from a candy floss stall. Standing in the shower the other day however I was pondering the undiscovered species there must be thriving in there and a small, brown skinned chap with a blowpipe poked his head out and asked me if I'd seen his monkey. Only then did I realise I could scarcely even see my own. It was time for a trim. If only I had just trimmed. Instead I decided upon a full campaign of deforestation and Veet got the vote. Deforestation? It was more like a Scorched Earth policy. Big Willy and the twins turned into a spent match and two raisins of pain and as I writhed in silent agony on the bathroom floor, clutching all I hold most dear in one hand and flinging excess foam around with the other my wife walked in and stood in gaping horror at the scene before her. Before I could recover enough to construct a coherent sentence she had packed and left and I found myself explaining my cremated junk to a disbelieving lady paramedic and a grizzled old officer of the law who told me that now he truly had seen everything. If you must go fully commando in the married quarters then I'd recommend half a pint of paraffin and a match instead. It has to hurt less than this.Whilst I would recommend this product to anyone who wishes to make their genitalia look like an obscene Mr. Man, I am giving the product only 4 stars as I feel the instructions should be in larger font so that they can be read whilst crying.
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